Friday, April 25, 2008

I Hate Carpenter Bees (my earth day suggestion)

God help the insects who come between me and my house, and these little fuckers are some of them.

They serve no goddamn purpose on the planet except to eat wood - not wood on trees, you see, but finished and painted wood on your HOUSE.

To top it off, they hover around, dangling their little fucking insect paws, and buzz loud enough to disturb ME, and I am HALF FUCKING DEAF. Other people tell me they can hear them EATING THE WOOD.

I ain't takin this shit no more. Carpenter Bees, meet your match:
That's a low-end Prince tennis racquet. Never played the game much, so here's how it comes in handy. This is a carpenter bee cut in half by the strings of the racquet, after my not-as-hot-as Maria Sharapova serve on it's ass:

This one, below, wasn't so lucky and I had to step on him after I McEnroed him:

This is a perfect solution - I get better at tennis, I get rid of the bees, and no chemicals are used.

Next to my arguments about teeth, insects are just more proof that the "intelligent designer" was a fucking moron.

Someone tell me to "get to a meeting" - I dare you. I'll hunt your sloganeering ass down with my $15 Prince racquet!!!!

1 comment:

bob said...

I would wait until the bee was in the hole and then seal it in with wood filler, I would go Poe on their little asses